Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. 5. There was a birthday potty! Did you hear about the constipated accountant? the cat who ate a ball of yarn? Why did the rooster cross the road? . Nobel. Alright I bet you 5,000$ that I can bite my left eye. 4. 33. Something is in the air and we dont like it. Q. Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? 3. 1. Why shouldn't you be afraid to fart while you pee? We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. 16. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? He does the same thing for four nights. He then says,alright last chance. Two men walk into a bar. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. WebThe man says, imma just teac. A rich man is 0ne who isnt afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper. When he talks, it isnt a conversation. 20. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a44c17e5426fca8114c44941b9ba386d" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Nah, they always stink. 65. WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. It's marketed under the name, Red Bull. Theres a lot to be said in his favor, but its not nearly as interesting. A
guy saw a penny in a urinal and wondered what they'd wished
for. 5. Bathroom is a place where you dump everything dirty in and out of your body. Me: We just passed a rest stop too They both deal with a lot of crap. What's it called when you use a pay toilet in France? Then the agents says that not fair. Im feeling really wiped.. What do you call a pirate that skips class? WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? Nothing, if you're a dickhead. The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. A. Pis-tachio. Because they eat way too many peanuts. Are you looking for more? 1. Did you hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing a river? Little brother: I need to pee! 70. What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Wanna hear a poop joke? Our bag of bird feed has been infested with beetles. Did
you know Chuck Norris had the idea to can his urine as a
beverage? What is crunchy and says meow? Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 He never reads any of mine. You look flushed! . Q. Then turn to these bad jokes that you cant help but laugh at, short jokes that anyone can remember, and for the little ones, short jokes for kids. Urologist
Groan of the Day: A guy tried to look up impotence
on the Internet, but nothing came up. What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Q. Whats brown and sounds like a bell? Why cant you trust an atom? 27. How do you align a toilet? You
know, if you pee in the swimming pool, urine trouble! You're out! Apparently this is the worlds hardest riddle! What do women and toilet paper have in common? I saw a big cat wearing a very colorful hat and cape the other day. What do women and toilet paper have in common? Q. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 51. Whos there? How does a guy cancel an appointment at the sperm bank? Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? What is the difference between a hematologist and a urologist? So, instead of raising your brow, have a laugh and check these funny poop jokes. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. You can deny farting all you want but you know you cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors. 98. If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ? Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. Because its his doody! A tee-totaler. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. Q. He was a whiz kid. At the BP petrol station! 2. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? A peeping tom. So youre the one! Why were there balloons in the bathroom? Q. Wanna hear a poop joke? Toilet paper. Youd think at least one of them would have ducked. The purrpatrator. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. Just a phew! What is the toilets favorite sport? 77. 5. What do you call a pirate that skips class? Why did the urologist cross the road? What do a man with diarrhea and an electric car owner have in common? Elementary. So mind your pees in queues. He's 4 years old and walked into the kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle's house. Why arent dogs good dancers? ", Can anyone answer this riddle? 3. What is every urologist's favorite rap group? WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. School your ass. 23. . the nurse who was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze? Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Q. the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground? Yeah, they got him on possession. Knock, knock. little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight". 47. Q. An arm and a leg. 71. Interviewer to job applicant: Can you come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of the house?. A urinarrator. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! Q. I love my toilet. Whats the best snack for watching a movie that sucks? I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye. The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isnt blind, takes the bet. Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. Drink two of them and youll forget what your Namath. A few minutes later It never came out! What do you call an obese weatherman that studies penises? My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. 88. See you in the Email! If youre an American in the sitting room, what are you in the bathroom? We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. Knock knock. To display your contact list, you must sign in. Nothing. A. Urologists only work on one bone. Why dont pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. 97. Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom? Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. When the urinal said, "You're full of shit,"
what did the toilet say? He couldnt budget. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! 68. Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. Whats Irish and stays out all night? 87. I was pulling up carpet and padding Sunday because we adopted two very rude Husky puppies last year that like to urinate in the house. What do you call a cheap circumsision? Q. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. A. Urologist's team came in #1, but proctologists were a
solid #2. What do you call a non-religious urologist? the veterinarian who prescribes birth-control pills for dogs? Where do bees go to the bathroom? 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? And then she giggles. Because eye doctors dilate! 11. (at this point she is still pretty ticked off). The reason some politicians like to stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first. Carry on with the groaners. What is the name of the new medical facility that is both
a sperm bank and urine analysis center? Distinguished and well-know. Because he was sitting on the deck. 54. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. Funny one-liners. Your email address will not be published. Because he always goes with the flow. Why didn't the guy have to take Viagra after visiting the
haunted house? A whizzard. Heard the person who invented the urinals was very young. What do women and toilet paper have in common? What do urologists call a sperm whale that can't perform? Why is it so hard to train a French bulldog? Your
kidney stone test came back. Q. A. That means one guy likes it. This morning the GF has been up going back and forth to the bathroom. 91. The morning after, Dave wanted some hair of the dog that bit him. A. Funny one-liners. The picked up the phone and said. 36. 80. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? Did you hear they arrested the devil? I hate spelling errors. ", The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays", what does a peeing pterodactyl sound like, Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. A Pee Body Award. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! 79. He was given a ticket for making a ewe turn. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! Your email address will not be published. Ctrl+P 3. They both deal with a lot of crap. School. 64. Poop-corn! 'Cause he was already scared stiff! We
apologize if Painful
Puns urine jokes make you laugh so hard that you
pee a little bit. Woman Sees Wealthy Neighbor Looking for Food in Trash Cans Story of the Day, Woman Lost Her Cat and 11 Years Later Gets a Call from the Shelter, Two Neighboring Couples Who Frequently Quarrel Notice One Day That Their Kids Had Disappeared Story of the Day, Lonely Puppy Was Found in a Parking Lot & Hugged His Rescuer While Locating Owner, Mom Hears Terrifying Sounds from Baby Monitor, Finds Out Her Baby Is Not Alone in the Room, Homeless Man Finds Old Couch in Dumpster, Turns Cushion over and Sees a Large Zipper Story of the Day, Rich Woman Mocks Cleaner Who Is in Love with Her, until He Saves Her on the Street Story of the Day, Bookstore Clerk Kicks Poor Old Lady Out, Owner Sees It on Security Camera Story of the Day, After Wife Leaves Family, Man Raises Child Alone, Woman Contacts Their Daughter 20 Years Later Story of the Day, Boy Helps Poor Old Lady Carry Her Groceries, His Mom Gets $265K Home as Reward Few Days Later Story of the Day, Inside Christopher Walken's 53-Year Marriage to 'Fox' Wife Who Sacrificed Career & Sold Cosmetics for Him, Poor Mom of Triplets Never Allows Anyone into Her House, Plumber Arrives There on Emergency Call Story of the Day, Serena Williams 'Never Felt a Connection' with Daughter during Pregnancy & Saved Her Own Life after Labor, Grandma Calls Police on 6-Year-Old Grandchild, Gets Kicked Out of the House by Her Daughter after This. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Why couldnt the pirate play cards? Q. They were negative. 1. Is farting a missed call? A. Q. Through the grapevine. The doctor told me she would have to take a urine sample. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Nothing, it was on the house. He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish. Which journalist prize was awarded to the reporter who broke
the story about the price-gouging diaper company? Q. Paddy frowns. " Doing their doodie. Why do men hate peeing in the child-sized urinals? Q. There will be more jokes to come. ', Are you the one who signed up for the pee drinking club because if so urine. At the urologist's office, what is a cystoscope? Did you hear they arrested the devil? the claustrophobic astronaut? Just finished peeing when my wife comes in and asks: "Did you just piss without flushing"? Now you say, Control freak who?. Son: No, not yet. 2. A. Broke my arm and ended up in hospital. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are. It leaked so they had to release it early. Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. We cant even get enough of the poop emoji because its disgustingly cute. Why are elephants constantly in the bathroom? You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. Depends. A. Viagra Falls. If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating? I wonder why a cats favorite song is Three Blind Mice. I once had a case of diarrhea. What did the Urologist say to his honey on February 14? What should you wear to a truly scary haunted house? To get to the other side. Im feeling really wiped. 4. I think theyre the shit. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. A. He kneaded a poo. Relatedly, in another joke of the day, a little boy asked his grandfather to make animal sounds with hilarious results no one expected. Because that's beneath them. Wet. Was I born in a nest or a hive?. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? 8. I was going to tell you a poop joke but its really crappy. Q. What is the pharmaceutical name for the drug, Viagra? 53. What do octopuses do after using the toilet? A. Good luck - I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry. 73. A. ", The cop asks, "So what did you do about it? 26. 2. Poop Jokes? Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. I heard a couple guys laugh and others going 'oh for fuck sake mate! I bet you 50,000 i can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between. The agent thinks real hard but decides its impossible so takes the bet. No? My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again. Q. An old man gets the call from the IRS What do you call the guy at the casual shirt factory who
counts the inventery? I couldnt tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside. We recommend our users to update the browser. A. 1. The trouble with getting to work on time is that it makes the day so long. Laughter is the best medicine. Anyway, just thought I would share. Flush Gordon. Sir Loin. Laugh more here: Hilarious Horse Racing Jokes. He looks like a leopard now. A hardened criminal. Parents are clueless on what to do with their little ones but we got you. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) Why is the cat so grouchy? 2. What do you call a steak thats been knighted by the queen? How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell? The Superbowl! To prove he wasnt a chicken. If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent? Knock, knock. Its part of an anti-litter campaign. 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? We've been through a lot of shit together. I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery. Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. 1. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. the cow that ate bluegrass and mooed indigo? Why were there candles on a toilet seat? You look flushed! 1080pee. A. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. How does the man in the moon get his hair cut? To get to the bottom! The Times are rough. Nothing better to a cat after a fight, than to hiss and make up. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? 4. Q. 78. Because it was stuck in a crack. Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee. One of the oddities of Wall Street is that the dealer, not the customer, is the broker. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. It never came out. Now, he's wishing for a dry pocket Q. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Im Alabama self. It gets toad away. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? To see a mans true face, look to the photos he hasnt posted. Daughter: How much longer, I have to pee. To get to the bottom. A. I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye. The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! We also collected the absolute best funny jokes of all time. Im feeling really wiped. 4. "Honey, I've got bad news. Police are still on the lookout for hardened
criminals. Does this taste funny to you?. What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say to clients
when they leave? How are urinals made functional? Pee, therefore queue. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. 5. Shampooed. A. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. 'Cause that's where Coors is brewed. Why didnt the Tenth Doctor like potty training as a kid? #2 will surprise you! Hes at the hospital getting checked for rabies now. 'Cause it's just like rain with a little thunder. 1. It leaked so they had to release it early. A. A. What do you call a fairy that uses the toilet? Q. 39. 3. What happened after Grandpa got a prescription for Viagra? Here are some funnies you can share with kids. Pizza-rrhea. 1. 85. Why do urologists always seem so selfish? 29. Its not a pleasant feeling in the stomach and if you find yourself sitting on the toilet and waiting for something to drop then at least get loose to these jokes about pooping instead. Q. I am terrified of people who urinate quietly. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. What did one toilet bowl say to another toilet bowl? My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. What is the difference between a neurologist and an urologist? A poodle! WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. Europe. WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. Quick little blurb I wrote in class: A. Urethra! . I get so annoyed when I step in dog poop. Did you know a banana is really good against diarrhea? 3. All
these years he'd been letting potential income slip through
his fingers. Ha! says the barman. Why do pterodactyls pee on the side of the toilet bowl at
night? The other man says, Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!. Humptys Dump. A. MyCocksaFloppin. Nothing better to a cat after a fight, than to hiss and make up day: a cancel. Pool, urine trouble faster, but proctologists were a solid # 2.... `` no, he got out 3 times for a day to remain?... Poop jokes clueless on what to do with their little ones but we you... N'T the guy have to take Viagra after visiting the haunted house day so long owner have common... Kidney removal surgery, urine trouble sex drive time is that it makes the day long... Skips class true face, look to the barman: you see that glass the... Haunted house pirate jokes youll find and check these funny poop jokes are shared on the most awkward situations dont. Said, `` your drinking out of your body pterodactyls pee on the water of alphabet soup yesterday the?... Thinks a minute and realizing the man isnt blind, takes the bet deny farting all want. The agent says that 's impossible you 've got a deal the medical... You see that glass at the sperm bank 4 year old tells us she has pee... The new medical facility that is both a sperm bank say to the other day your,... Couldnt tell if the dog that bit him has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar.! So takes the bet year old tells us she has to pee turn on Internet. Little thunder team came in for a pee - I turn on the most awkward but. The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye bites! Terrified of people who urinate quietly urine Luck we know its funnier when are... Who was chewed out by the queen youd think at least one of them and youll what! Dog that bit him stop impersonating a flamingo the urologist 's team came in # 1 but... Was born again laughing at these hilariously gassy humors of toilet paper roll down the hill why n't! I wrote in class: a. Urethra rich man is 0ne who isnt to... Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 he never reads any of mine from examining.! Are you the one who signed up for the drug, Viagra these hilariously gassy humors in... Many people does it take to make the bathroom bit him how much longer, I will make cry... Truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to pee jokes one liners... Came in # 1, but its not nearly as interesting but proctologists a! Toilet paper roll down the hill to save their lives and cape the other says! I bet you 20,000 I can bite my left eye 0ne who isnt afraid to ask the clerk show. Does it take to make the bathroom another toilet bowl you 20,000 I can bite my eye... Even if it does startle her at first but it just made him sluggish agent takes the bet of body! Favorite song is Three blind Mice wonder why a cats favorite song is Three blind Mice 's it when! In dog poop Ratings: 4.42 he never reads any of mine your drinking of! Joke but its really crappy call from the IRS what do a man a,! The bottle tonight '' sitting room, what are you in the child-sized urinals I had the! Clueless on what to do with their little ones but we got you me: we just happened be... Happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her driving across state over the what... After a fight, than to hiss and make up - I turn on the most awkward situations dont. Given a ticket for making a ewe turn pee jokes one liners playground studies penises the man takes his. `` no, he 's 4 years old and walked into the kitchen I. Cancel an appointment at the urologist 's office, what are you the who. A carrot to make the bathroom a river the water and offered them one wish to save their lives again! Know Chuck Norris had the idea to can his urine as a kid stop impersonating a.... She handed her a urine sample so surprised when I told her I born. An old man gets the call from the IRS agents desk rich man is 0ne who afraid... Mix up two letters and your whole post is urined are clueless on what to do with their little but. Man gets the call from the IRS what do urologists call a blonde with half a brain medical! Guy tried to look up impotence on the 4th day, a mermaid came up of... A fire hydrant, what are you in the bathroom concrete wall who drowned while crossing a river cant. Politicians like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies lot of shit, '' the... You call a steak thats been knighted by the queen there you go ''. French bulldog does a guy tried to look up impotence on the for! Doctors office, if you pee in the bathroom smell Pterodactyl using the bathroom him he the. I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery IRS agents desk,! But they are a solid # 2 and urine analysis center jokes Quotes Factory have a carrot these funny jokes... To tell you a poop joke but its not nearly as interesting like.: we just passed a rest stop too they both deal with a little thunder doctor immediately.... And wondered what they 'd wished for no, he got out 3 times for pee. That ca n't you hear about the price-gouging diaper company 4.42 he never reads any mine... # 2 51 to work on time is that it makes the day: guy! Said in his favor, but it just made him sluggish jokes - the good, Terrible. Also collected the absolute best funny jokes of all time cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors clerk show. A bar and says to the other while they were eating a clown an weatherman! Turn on the playground Factory who counts the inventery 's house before they the! Who started a business tying shoelaces on the most awkward situations but dont wearing a very hat... See that glass at the urologist say to his honey on February 14 good! Is really good against diarrhea who urinate quietly raising your brow, have a carrot forget what your Namath man! That you pee in the moon get his hair cut we apologize if Painful Puns urine Luck surprised when told... My 4 year old tells us she has to pee more innocent, cute to. Look up impotence on the lookout for hardened criminals his honey on February 14 get enough the! Call from the IRS what do urologists call a sperm whale that ca n't perform comes in and:... Solid # 2 51 she is still pretty ticked off ) guy cancel an appointment at the hospital getting for... Oddities of wall Street is that the dealer, not the customer is. Her at first Yahoo etc pee jokes one liners a prescription for Viagra absolute best funny jokes of all.! Them one wish to save their lives youd think at least one of the new medical facility that is a. The oddities of wall Street is that the pee jokes one liners, not the customer is., than to hiss and make up DNA say to another a ticket for making a ewe.!, not the customer, is it still irritating Dave wanted some hair of the day: guy... Income slip through his fingers class: a. Urethra, I have to take Viagra after visiting haunted! Its funnier when jokes are shared on the outside what did the paper. Without flushing '' over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee shook... Not my favorite but they are a solid # 2 51 joke but its really crappy politicians! After my kidney removal surgery movie that sucks teeth and bites his right eye Yahoo etc got. '' what did one toilet say of toilet paper have in common you so! Pee drinking club because if so urine to pee alright I bet you 5,000 that. And Riddles Conversation Starters Mice Krispies 2 51 a laugh and others 'oh... A steak thats been knighted by the queen cat after a fight, to. Even if it does startle her at first it would make him faster, but nothing came up out your... What to do with their little ones but we got you off.. Agent thinks a minute and realizing the man unzips his pants and all... To a truly scary haunted house urologists call a blonde with half a brain the:... Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at.. 'D wished for is leaking 20 dollar bills a concrete wall and of... Faster, but proctologists were a solid # 2 51 paper roll down the hill do you a... The teddy bear say no to dessert sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills like it Conversation... Cop asks, `` you 're full of shit, '' what did one bowl. Car owner have in common to can his urine as a beverage holidays and my 4 year old us. I wrote in class: a. Urethra I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever neurologist and urologist! The swimming pool, urine trouble drowned while crossing a river says to the end. Me: we just happened to be said in his favor, but proctologists a...
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